Protecting Tsuna, Vongola-Style
by cole-lit
Summary: Protecting the Vongola Don is an esoteric skill that has been passed down through the Vongola Guardians for generations. (Or where there is a reasonable and logical explanation why his so-called friends ensure that Tsuna is drowning in paperwork. Honest. But Reborn doesn't see it that way.)


"Why must you be so destructive," Tsuna said wearily, not bothering to phrase it as a question anymore because he knew better. His Guardians have always been destructive, but his Cloud and Mist were on another level.

(He had a feeling that the would soon level _countries_ as _collateral damage_ in their fights.)

He closed his eyes in a futile attempt to stave away his impending headache brought about by their recent _argument_. It was also a futile attempt to avoid looking at the newest mountain of paperwork on his desk and the smugly arrogant and wholly unrepentant looks on his Guardians' faces.

(Like it was a _good thing_ to destroy towns and cities. And cause more paperwork for Tsuna.)

He should be angry at their callous attitude towards the carnage they leave behind since the Vongola was trying to change their image. He should be livid that they were costing him so much money, which could be better spent for charities and other productive projects. He should be furious that they were only adding more paperwork for him to do because they're his Guardians. Which means that they're _his _(to treasure and cherish despite all the trouble they bring) responsbilities.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, hoping to find the energy to work on his never-ending paperwork.

(Not noticing the approving look Hayato gave to his fellow Guardians. Or that their smirks widened in acknowledgement.)

**. . .**

It was only a month after Tsuna's (real) inauguration as the Vongola Decimo when the Ninth Generation Guardians imparted the most important responsibility of the Vongola Guardians to their younger counterparts.

"As Guardians," Coyote said (more like yelled to overpower the noise his fellow Guardians, both old and young), "We are responsible for the well-being of our Sky."

"We already know this," Hayato huffed, sounding mildly respectful as befitting for the right-hand man of the Vongola Nono.

But it wasn't respectful enough for the Ninth's Cloud Guardian, Visconti, who snapped, "Show respect to your elders, brat."

"Then he should damn well earn it," Hayato countered, glaring at the older man. "And not insult our skills in keeping our Decimo alive. Do you have any idea on how hard it is to keep Jyuudaime alive through all the shit we go through? All the shit Reborn puts Jyuudiame - and consequently the rest of us - through?"

"Please," scoffed Gamauche III, the Sun Guardian. "It can't have been much harder than the time Timoteo went through a phase of world domination."

Groans and a few facepalms came from the older Guardians followed that statement.

"And he didn't go through this, why?" Mukuro asked darkly, silently gesturing: '_And this is why you should let me possess Tsunayoshi's body and start World War III so I can destroy the mafia and everything related to it_'.

(Hayato gestured back: '_Keep your perverted thoughts and hands away from the Jyuudaime, you pineapple freak._'

Chrome gave them both a glare that said: '_Behave. **Or. Else.**_' To which Mukuro gave her a proud smile for her assertiveness and threatening skills.

Hell hath no wrath like a woman scorned, after all.)

"Enrico was born," was Bouche's flat reply.

"HE IS SUCH AN EXTREMELY GOOD MAN, PUTTING HIS FAMILY FIRST TO THE EXTREME!" Ryohei contributed, conveniently forgetting the fact that the Ninth was planning to dominate the world.

"Er, not really," Brow Nie Jr. shook his head, before adding, "It was impossible to have a kid and keep weapons of mass destruction on hand, you know. If it wasn't for his stupid Vongola luck, he would have died much earlier."

"But we've digressed," Coyote interrupted their story-telling time before they could reminisce the good old days when Enrico was alive and terrorizing the Vongola. (He himself had a few stories about the little menace, not including the times when he dragged his younger brothers.)

"As we all know, it is difficult to keep our Skies alive, thanks to their damnable Vongola luck, which puts them into more troublesome situations than there are stars in the night sky."

"Stop being so dramatic, Coyote," Gamauche III said and his fellow Guardians agreed.

"How many stars are there?" Takeshi spoke up.

"There are approximately 300 billion stars in the Milky Way and more than 100 billion galaxies, which would mean-" Hayato answered before Visconti interrupted him.

"A whole lot. Go on, Coyote," he nodded at the older Storm Guardian to continue.

"Thank you, Visconti. And so to ensure that the Vongola Don remains alive by the end of the day, despite the troubles they _always_ find themselves into, we are going to teach you _How To Protect the Vongola Boss_, an esoteric skill that has been passed down through the Vongola Guardians since Primo's time for generations."

This finally got their complete attention. Even the bored looking Lightning Guardian and the aloof Cloud seemed interested.

"And that is to create more paperwork for him to do."

A beat.

"But Tsuna-nii hates paperwork," Lambo contributed, raising his hand since he felt out of place in a room filled with old people.

"But it's a necessary evil, young Bovino," Gamauche sighed, ignoring how Lambo bristled at being called young.

(He was _fourteen_, which was practically an _adult_, thank you very much. Tsuna-nii was also fourteen when he started doing cool things that no adult could do. And since Lambo looked up to his Tsuna-nii, he knew he wasn't young. Everyone was just _old_.)

"Paperwork keeps the Boss in the mansion and away from trouble," Schnitten explained.

"And the Vongola Mansion is a veritable fortress since every generation adds to the structural integrity of this place," Bouche added.

(Conveniently forgetting to mention that the addition of structural integrity happens after each generation has destroyed a part of the mansion.

But the newest generation seemed to be on a whole other level of chaos and destruction. So, they will do just fine.)

"So how do we create more paperwork for Tsuna?" Takeshi asked.

(Coyote was surprised that it only took half a day for the Tenth Generation to learn and understand the importance of their task.

Hayato was suprised that the Ninth Generation got anything done with how often they interrupted each other.)

**. . . **

And so they protected him, Vongola-style.

But Tsuna inherited Primo's sense of justice, hyperintuition, and damnable luck to the fullest, it only made protecting him so much harder.

**. . . **

"Chrome..." Tsuna trailed off, staring at the long sheet of paper he was holding.

"Yes, Boss?" his most sane Guardian answered. (Which was a relative thing, all things considered.)

"What is...this?" he managed to choke out, waving the sheet of paper about.

"A receipt," she answered, tilting her head in curiosity.

"I know it's a receipt. I...just- They don't grow fifteen feet long!" he shrieked.

(And he was doing so well, too. It's been at least three years since he last shrieked like a little girl. Now he had to go back to Reborn's _remedial training - read: torture_.)

"But it's Christmas," she said, as if that was an answer to everything. "So I went out and bought gifts for the family, the Famiglia, our friends, our allies, our enemies - if we still have any because you keep converting them to allies, Boss."

"But..." Tsuna blubbered, shaking the receipt at an arm's length, as if he didn't want to be near the monstrosity.

"The Vongola has a lot of friends and allies. And I had to buy some for our family. And Haru and Kyoko and Hana came along with me.

Tsuna just stared at the monstrously long receipt; then at Chrome, who stared so innocently at him; then back at the _thing_ that would force him to redo the whole budget for the Vongola.

(Because as good as Hayato and Haru were at Math, Tsuna was a _genius _when it came to money. No doubt from all the practice at budgeting the expenses for the repairs of the collateral damage and emotional trauma his friends bring about.)

("That's was a good one, Chrome!" Hayato praised the female Mist Guardian, who smiled back. "But next time, try not to spend too much."

"But the Boss spends more on repairs than my shopping spree," she countered and Takeshi laughed.

"She got you there, Haya-chan!"

"Shut up, Yakyuu-baka!")

**. . . **

But it wasn't just Tsuna's inheritance that made protecting him so much harder than necessary.

No, it was _Reborn_.

**. . . **

"HAAAA! FINISH MY PAPERWORK WITH MY DYING WILL!"

"Goddamn it. Reborn shot him with the Dying Will Bullet. _Again_," Hayato muttered, looking at the partially open door of the main office where Tsuna was, no doubt, in his boxers while finishing the mountain of paperwork in his office (because the desk couldn't hold them all any longer).

"Quick, we gotta do something before he finishes," Takeshi said, slightly panicked at the idea of Tsuna's paperwork actually being _finished_. (A task that has not been accomplished by any Vongola Don for generations. But none of the Vongola Dons before Tsuna had _Reborn_.)

"No!" hissed Hayato. "Let him finish. Then we can make more damage."

"EXTREME-"

"Maybe we should tell Ryohei that as well?" Takeshi asked, pointing to the boxer, who was preparing to punch a wall of the mansion.

"PUNCH!"

BOOM.

('_So much for being a veritable fortress,_' Hayato would muse after dragging away the Rain and Sun Guardians before Reborn arrived at the scene of the crime where there was a giant hole in the wall of the Great Hall. '_Not even able to withstand a measly punch. No wonder the mansion kept getting repaired._')

**. . . **

"_You children,_" Reborn, in all his sixteen-year old glory, snarled at them. "Are under _house-arrest_ until further notice."

"But the missions-" Hayato brought up, only to be interrupted by Reborn.

"The Vongola is filled with _more responsible_, _less destructive_ members who can take on the missions. And if not, the Arcobaleno would willingly take them for the Vongola." Not that it was any different from usual since the Arcobaleno are practically members of the Vongola and have been doing missions for Tsuna since he took up the mantle of Vongola Decimo five years ago.

When Reborn left, the Guardians gave worried looks to each other. (Even Kyouya looked mildly concerned about the situation.)

"How will we protect Tsuna-nii now?" Lambo asked anxiously.

"We can't leave to cause trouble," Hayato mumbled uneasily, glancing at his fellow Guardians, hoping that one of them would have a good idea.

"Well, we could always bring trouble here," Chrome suggested.

"Then let's invite the Varia!" Takeshi excitedly brought up.

(The Guardians were never put under house-arrest again.

And luckily, the Varia were still welcome in the Vongola Mansion, if and only if Reborn was in a good mood.)

**. . . **

"**_Am I to understand that all of you are purposely making more paperwork for Tsuna?_**"

The Guardians looked scared, as they rightly should, since Reborn was ominously looming over them.

There was one thing to do.

"WAAAAH! TSUNA-NII!" Lambo cried out.

Tsuna, like the hero that he really was, arrived as soon as he heard his little brother's call.

"What's going on now? Reborn, cut that out. Stop bullying Lambo. He hasn't done anything this time," he scolded the hitman because he knew Lambo hasn't done anything that was considered annoying by Reborn's standards.

The Guardians took that moment to run away. And not a moment too soon.

**_"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY'RE PURPOSELY MAKING MORE PAPERWORK FOR ME TO FINISH?"_**


End file.
